Snow Day
by YumiDoesTheMacarena
Summary: It's a chilly, chilly day on the Grand Line and Usopp finds himself woefully ill-prepared.


OH MY WORD, **three** updates within two days, after all these months. I haven't done that since my first post! What's gotten into me?

Ehhh. Just call it the holiday spirit or something. Don't question it too closely; I have no idea what you'll find if you do. ;)

FYI, this can be placed at any point in the storyline, including post-time skip should you so desire, just as long as it's after Thriller Bark. Hope you enjoy!

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><p>It was snowing.<p>

That was the first thing Usopp noticed when he glanced out the porthole to the early-morning-dark deck. The second was that it had clearly _been_ snowing for quite some time; there were several inches of the frozen white stuff piled on the deck.

Okay, six.

Okay, half a foot.

Damn. He glanced down at himself, then back out the window, then back at his clothes. He was _so_ not dressed for the weather. Usopp heaved a heavy sigh, then trudged to the back of the room and pulled open his locker. Stared at its contents.

Slammed it shut and, after a surreptitious glance over his shoulder at his still-slumbering, snoring, sprawled-out captain, opened _Luffy's_ locker. He pulled out the big, quilted, downy coat—glanced over his shoulder at Chopper and Franky, both still snoozing soundly—shut the locker silently—stole a glance at Zoro, the only one left on the bunk he shared with Sanji—and dashed madly for the door, pulling on the coat as he went. Usopp grabbed for the handle, twisted his wrist, and was home free.

In the snow.

"Ohhh, IT'S COLD!" he hissed between gritted teeth and, zipping up the stolen coat, jogged uneasily across the deck in the direction of the tightly shut galley door. About halfway there his teeth started chattering uncontrollably. _How_ had he forgotten how _cold_ winter island weather was? Rubbing his hands together as he went, Usopp bounded up the stairs , taking the last few in pairs. With growing confidence—he hadn't slipped yet!—he darted over to the galley door, sliding the last yard or so. He reached for the handle with his left hand—

—And promptly fell on his face as his right foot slipped out from under him. He hit the deck with a muffled thud and a slightly more audible crunch of snow. Oh, eugh. Snow up his nose! And in his mouth, and eyes! His momentary gratitude towards the stuff that had so helpfully cushioned his fall melted away as quickly as he wished the snow itself would. Grimacing, eyes clenched shut, he pushed himself up with increasing cold hands flat to the crushed snow between himself and the deck, snorting and spitting.

Rather than a spray of the powdered flakes, as he had been expecting, water dribbled out from between his lips. How humiliating. And of course it was at this time he heard the whoosh-crush of the door swinging open and sweeping aside what snow had gathered since the last time someone had entered. Rising to his knees, rubbing the backs of his hands against his eyes, he heard a snort of laughter.

Eyes finally cleared, Usopp turned his head to glare at his audience. There, as Usopp knew he would be, stood Sanji, legs crossed at his ankles just as his arms were crossed over his chest, one shoulder pressed against the doorframe. His head was tilted slightly upwards as he stared down at Usopp, a surprisingly unlit cigarette held limply between his smirking lips. "What," he grumbled at his nakama, "is so funny?"

The smirk grew. "Nothing." Sanji leaned over and reached out, grabbing hold of the back of the coat. Usopp's eyes widened in sudden concern, but before he could say a word the other man had hefted him up off the deck and onto his feet, then pushed him roughly into the galley. Usopp stumbled to a stop, wheeling his arms so as not to fall over _again_, just in time to hear the cook's murmur of, "Just your face," as he pulled the door shut. Usopp started to turn so fast that he nearly lost his footing anyway, managing at the last second to catch himself on the table between two of the chairs.

A cheery laugh erupted from the bar, and Usopp shot a dirty look at Brook. "No need to worry, Usopp-san, we're all friends here."

"That doesn't mean he's going to let me live this down!" he retorted, pointing at the blond in question as he made his way, hands in pockets, back to the kitchen.

Sanji half-turned to look at them and grinned. "You've got that right," he confirmed cheerily, and Usopp gaped at him. With a shrug, he turned and made his way to the stove. He stooped down, presumably to check on whatever was baking in one of the smaller ovens, and Usopp lost sight of him.

Huffing, he turned to the table and slid into the chair at his right, so he sat facing his fellow early-risers. Speaking of which… A brief frown of thought flashed over his face as he considered the other two men, then spoke. "I know why you're awake, Sanji, but what's with you being here already, Brook? Don't you usually sleep in with the rest of us?" He tilted his head slightly to the right.

"Ahh," Brook sighed, setting down his steaming cup of tea and shifting so he could be seen better from Usopp's position… and vice versa. "Today is…" he trailed off, hands coming together and briefly interlocking before he smoothed down his already neat pant legs. He seemed nervous, or at least upset about something. Usopp's curiosity was well on its way to worry. But before he could speak again, Sanji stood up and, as was his habit, refilled Brook's cup automatically. The sound of the tea pouring into the cup seemed to settle Brook somewhat, as he sighed and relaxed his posture a bit. "You know, of course, that my previous crew died." He waited for Usopp to confirm this before he continued. "Well, today is the anniversary of the day I took over as captain of the Rumbar Pirates. That was the last time I saw my best friend, who had been the captain up to that point."

"Oh," was all Usopp could think to say. 'I'm sorry' didn't quite cut it. They all knew the story of Brook's old captain, who had been stricken by illness in his prime, much like Usopp's own mother.

"That certainly explains why you were just sitting on the couch when I got up," Sanji commented from the kitchen, one arm resting on the counter, his chin propped up by his other hand.

"Ahh, yes," Brook nodded, then moved to bring his cup to his non-existant lips. Halfway there, he stopped and turned his head to the cook. "By the way, Sanji-san, I wanted to thank you for inviting me to the galley with you. I know that you usually prepare breakfast alone."

In proper Straw Hat fashion, Sanji waved off the thanks. "Not a problem. I like having the company. Did you know I used to work in a restaurant? It's been a while, but I'm still used to having other people in the kitchen with me, fighting over tools and ingredients," he reflected with a smile. "Having two people in the same room isn't an issue." In a sudden mock-threat, he glowered at them over his cupped hand as he lit his cigarette. "Just stay out of my kitchen, or I'll have to kick your asses."

"We can do that."

"No worries—I'm not that brave!"

The three men shared a look and a laugh. When that ended, there was comfortable near-silence for several minutes. Then Brook cleared his throat and addressed the matter Usopp had most hoped to avoid.

"Doesn't that coat belong to Luffy-san?" The question caused Sanji to glance over his shoulder to check, and Usopp to shrink in on himself somewhat, tucking his chin into the furred collar. He felt a slight spasm of guilt somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach.

"It is," the cook affirmed after a quick examination. Turning back, he muttered something under his breath and shook his head slightly, something he tended to do when disappointed in something.

"Then…" their musician began slowly, looking between them. "Won't Luffy-san miss it when he wakes?" Again his words stopped the chef short. Crossing the kitchen, Sanji leaned his hip against the end of the counter and took a drag from his cigarette. When he exhaled, the smoke somehow took on the distinct shape of a hatted figure huddled in the cold. He glanced at it pointedly before turning back to the sniper.

"Luffy probably won't even remember that he's supposed to wear a coat when it's cold," he assured his slightly twinging conscience and the cook, who still stood there, watching him with a raised brow.

A smile twitched across Sanji's face as Brook threw his head back with laughter. "Yohohoho! That seems quite likely!"

"Not only that," Sanji added, pointing at their skeletal musician with his cigarette held between two fingers. "But he's done it before. A lot," he added after a moment of consideration. Replacing the cigarette on its tray on the counter, he shook his head. "Every time it snows, actually. It's pretty ridiculous. But that _still_," he added sharply before walking back to the oven, "doesn't excuse taking our captains stuff."

Now this, Usopp could contest. "He does the same thing all the time! And I haven't gotten around to replacing the last coat Luffy borrowed," he lamented. "I didn't know it was going to snow!"

"Like you can _ever_ know what the weather is going to be like," Sanji said, tone giving Usopp the distinct impression he was rolling his eyes.

A grimace crossed the sniper's face, unchecked. "Yeah… That's true."

"And you shouldn't have taken Luffy's coat—the idiot's going to need it when he starts running around making giant snowmonsters or whatever shitty thing he decides to build this time. Or he'll catch cold and that would just be more work for Chopper, who would then have less time to run around with you other two stooges." Usopp was about to argue that he, too, intended to be out in the snow making constructs—which Sanji himself had admired on more than one occasion, he was inclined to add—when the cook continued. "Which is why you should have taken the idiot marimo's. It'd fit you."

Usopp blinked at this, then replied blandly, "Green isn't really my color."

Sanji, who was in the process of tasting something, choked, then began to cough harshly, doubling over as he did so. Usopp and Brook were both out of their seats, the former frantically wondering what to do when a person chokes on home-made syrup—the Heimlich wouldn't work, would it?—aand the latter setting down his tea cup with a clink began to move forward when Sanji took action himself. Quickly slapping the ladle down onto the counter, he patted his chest firmly before dissolving into laughter and lowering himself to the floor, one hand still hooked over the edge of the counter.

The tension drained out of the room instantly, and Usopp slid back into his seat, wiping all concern from his features. The cook didn't need to know that a streak of real terror had shot through him when he stopped breathing for several seconds there. Rubbing a hand over the left side of his face, Usopp put his right arm on the table and allowed himself to collapse onto it, suddenly exhausted.

"It wasn't _that_ funny," he muttered crossly, which only served to set the chef off again, though Usopp could no longer see him. "I'm just cracking you up today, aren't I?" he demanded, lifting his head and glaring fixedly at where he imagined Sanji's head to be.

"That does appear to be the case," Brook chimed in almost tentatively. He was still on his feet, peering easily over the counter. "Are you alright, Sanji-san?"

Still chuckling, the blonde pulled himself to his feet, nodding. "I'm fine. And it _was_ that funny, actually. You realize that Zoro still has that coat he took from Wapol's men, right?" At the sudden curious tilting of Brook's head, he explained in an aside, "The man who attacked Chopper's home while we were there. Used to be king but he was, how to say… voted off the island. With a little help from Luffy, of course."

This was all good and well, but what Sanji had said got Usopp thinking. "And… when we were fighting Arlong's crew… Didn't Zoro take one of the fishmen's shirts?"

"Yeah…" Sanji agreed slowly. "And when we were facing off against Shiki, the shitty bastard, he took one of my suits and never gave it back." There was a beat of silence before he added quickly, "The marimo clearly has a problem."

"Should we consider and intervention?" Both men turned to Brook, who was taking a sip of his tea, and grinned.

'Maybe,' Usopp was going to say when the door was roughly shoved open to reveal Franky, already shivering despite the furred leather coat he had sipped up to his chin.

"It's _SUPER_ cold out there," he told them between chattering teeth as someone stepped in behind him and slammed the door closed.

Deciding that mentioning that the man's complete lack of pants wasn't necessarily in his best interests, Usopp literally bit his tongue, lips twitching. From the corner of his eye he saw Sanji's jaw working as he apparently did the same.

"Isn't the weather supposed to be at least a little stable?" asked a gruff voice from behind Franky, who quickly moved to join Brook at the bar, revealing Zoro. "I thought we were heading to a Spring island." Cheeks flushed from the cold, lips turned down in a severe frown, he pulled his own coat tighter around him, and all Usopp's and Sanii's efforts proved futile as the both broke into uproarious laughter at the sight of his stolen coat.

"I take it that that is…" Brook began questioningly, and when Sanji nodded his head, wrapping an arm around his middle as he braced himself on the counter, the musician joined in that laughter. "Speak of the devil," he began, chortling happily.

"And the devil appears," the other two quoted with gasped breaths as they wiped tears of hilarity from their eyes.

Zoro, for his part, remained stoic as he glanced around the room at his highly amused nakama. Shaking his head and sighing heavily, he sat at the table opposite the guffawing sniper. "You people are insane."

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><p>For my American audience:<p>

_ He glanced down at himself, then back out the window, then back at his clothes.  
><em>'Hello ladies. Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now _back_ to _me_. Sadly, he isn't me. But if he stopped using ladies' scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me...' XDD I love that commerial.

_...glance over his shoulder at his still-slumbering, snoring, sprawled-out captain..._  
>Alliterations for the win. It was actually pretty hard to avoid saying 'still-slumbering, snoring, sprawled-out <em>sencho<em>' but as you may have noticed I avoid using Japanese for the most part. I know it, but not everyone does so it isn't really fair, right? At least, that's how I feel.

_"Should we consider and intervention?"_  
>YES, YOU SHOULD.<p>

It was going to keep going until all the guys were in the galley and they had a super-crazy conversation, but honestly it felt right to end it here. Since the bit with Zoro kind of wrote itself(yay!) and I _really_ like it, it seemed to be the thing to do. But if you're curious, here's the rest of the outlined plan:

'Z sits and warns U that L is on a rampage looking for hs coat b/c this _one time_ he actually remembered what 'cold' is (unwritten: primarily due to C's warning of frostbite). U panics and stands quickly, stripping off the coat and hanging it over the end of the couch before taking his seat again. Eventually L stroms in, red-nosed and sniffling with a much more sedate Chopper behind him. L sees coat; U insists he left it there himself the day before. The rest of the men bite their tongues considerately due to (not really) U's threats against them should they tell L the truth.'

...And that was pretty much all I had planned. It's useful, isn't it, that all their names start with different letters? =) As usual, feel free to ask me any questions, PM me, review, whatever.

Happy New Year, ya'll.

_Ja na!_


End file.
